:)
I've had lots of funny/weird/amazing/special/WACKO moments at our dear-old-walmarto. And yes - truth be told - I'd much rather be at Target (say it w/ a french accent - it's super awesome). However, it's far away. And walmartofamerica is close. And I'm ALL about close.
One time, a few years ago, I was shopping for toothpaste (once again - cool isle). And I saw this darling little old man looking and looking and LOOKING. I kept noticing him - and wondered if he needed help. So I kindly leaned in and said "Do you need some help finding something - this is my favorite isle - I know where everything is. :)" The cute little old man said "well - I usually don't do the shopping and I don't know where the Colgate is". I joked with him and said "ohhh so your wife has you on an errand??" He very tenderly said "Yes, I guess that's true. She passed away 2 weeks ago and I'm just not sure where to find anything." I felt all sorts of emotions come over me - compassion being the first one. I started to cry and expressed my deepest apologies and tried to help him find what he was looking for. I thought of that sweet little old man for a long time. And every time I'm looking for toothpaste.
Another time I was grocery shopping at my favorite store - Bomans - in Kaysville. It's like a sweet little local store where you run into all your neighbors. I love that store. I was looking for soup - and up drove another sweet man. Maybe 80. He was riding on that cool little grocery cart thing. The one that all of our kids beg to ride. And that we secretly WANT to ride. We started to chat while looking for something to eat. Our chat turned into an hour. Luckily my then 3 year old thought he was sweet and kept flirting with him. The only thing that made me leave was knowing I had to pick up my kindergartner. The little man said he lived alone. And hadn't had visitors for a few months. Maybe longer. He told me where he lived and I drove those streets for a few months looking for him. Hoping that we could be one of his visitors. I never saw him again.
Enter 2 days ago. YET another shopping trip at Walmarto. I was alone. Nate was home w/ the kids. RSV is going around - and you all KNOW I'm a GERMAPHOBE. So there was NO way I was going to contaminate them. Someone might breathe on them, or wave at them and spray germs ALL over them. I stood in front of the pineapples. They were one sale. My boy would be SUPER happy. I had no idea what to look for. I only knew when one of those prickly stemy looking things was easily pulled out of the middle, it was ready to eat. As I was contemplating the purchase ANOTHER little old man revved up in his super-cool-riding thingy.
Sweet little old man: You know how to pick out a pineapple, don't you?
Me: Well - not really. :)
Sweet little old man: You know what to do with them after you've picked it out, right??
Me: Hmmm - I was going to get one of those spiraly thingies and just core it out - and then slice it up??
Sweet little old man: You were going to do WHAT? Ohhh no no no no no...
Sweet little old man turned into crazy old WACKO!: (deeper scratchier voice now): Now listen closely, you cut off the top and cut off the bottom and put VODKA IN IT. THAT'S WHAT YOU DO! And it's DELICIOUS!
Sweet little old ME: Ohh uhhh ummm - hahaha - ok. Well uhhh - I wouldn't know. (enter realllly nervous laugh) I've never had alcohol.
Crazy out of control man: WHAT?? You !@#!!! Well - THAT is what you do and it's GOOD. You don't do no spiraly thing!
Shaking nervously me: Uhhh ok. Well ... thanks.... (looking around for someone to shield me from his crazy laughter and his piercing eyes. I think he even revved his engine!
Probably murderous man: AND THEN (realllly LOUD!!!!!!) you drink it up and it won't matter a !~@#$ what you !@#$-ety !@#$ eat. (and then some really bad words again and again as he rode off into the deep dark freezer area)
Me crying in the corner: Uhhh ok - thank you sir. Have a good day..... (I think I started to cry..., :)
And THAT is yet another journal entry for my WALMART book. I much prefer the first two stories!
Now... I'm very far behind on blogging photo sessions! I don't think I blogged even half my sessions from 2010. So I'll do a quick one so there's at least a picture.
My sweet cousin had her first baby. I love her new little guy. More to come .... after I go to walmart! ;)
Holy Crap!!! Your first two stories had me in tears! Then, comes the grumpy, swearing, vodka drinking man on a rascal!! Too stinking funny. :) Don't you just love how walmart bring out the best/worst in everyone??? Love you!
Posted by: Natalie | March 03, 2011 at 01:08 PM
Oh, so beautiful. And OH MY HOLY JUNK that story is hysterical! Aren't you grateful your boy wasn't with you? He'd have FREAKED OUT and never had pineapple again, in case someone had spiked it with Vodka. Hahahahahaha!!!!
Posted by: Lisa | March 03, 2011 at 01:09 PM
Old man doesn't know what he is talking about. You put Coconut rum in it not vodka. or you skin it core it then soak it in the rum. yum. but then the kids cant have any.
Really though I have a killer recipe for pineapple upside down cake you have to try. (no alcohol involved)
Posted by: Andrea (the other one) | March 03, 2011 at 01:52 PM
only at Walmart eh? hahahhahah
Posted by: christine | March 03, 2011 at 06:07 PM
You are freaking hilarious Kara :)
Posted by: Amanda Keeys | March 04, 2011 at 05:58 AM
walmarto.. hahah thats what I am calling it now.. I go there several times a week cause well yep... its close.. and most of the food is not as expensive as the other grocery store in town and plus i can get bullets there.. ya cant go wrong.. and ya have to love the crazy folks.. have you gone to www.peopleofwalmart.com if not worth the look
Posted by: elizabeth pellette | March 04, 2011 at 04:00 PM
I never see you at Bowmans! In fact, I haven't seen you since before you moved to AZ... but now you live in UT.... that says too much! We must fix. LOVE YOU!
Posted by: LNielsen | March 04, 2011 at 04:25 PM